Re-education camp or the salt mines? Your options under Kier Starmer’s Woke Marxist tyranny

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As Britain awakes to the hellish red dawn of a Marxist government, many people are wondering what their options are now? Well, our handy guide is here to help you through.

Re-education camps: If you are insufficiently enthusiastic about welcoming boatloads of petty criminals, you are likely to be sent to the Happy Re-education Camp just outside Woking, where you will be required to criticise your many failings in front of a poster of Rachel Reeves until you become a nice person like your guards – or truth coordinators, as they will be known.

Salt Mines: Objecting to having more than half of everything you earn taken from with without so much as a by-your-leave will be thoughtcrime of the worst sort and it’ll be off to the Salt Mines at Winsford for you, where you’ll learn that 100% is actually worse.

The Gulag: Or Middlesborough, as it is currently known. Being sent there is already one of the worst punishments allowable under law, and so it will remain.

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