Nation hands massive majority to leader who got fewer votes than Jeremy Corbyn

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In a result that has left voters wondering if they’ve somehow missed a crucial memo, the Labour Party has secured a massive majority of 170 in the 2024 UK General Election, despite gaining fewer votes than Jeremy Corbyn in either 2017 or 2019.

The unprecedented victory comes despite the party receiving only 9.6m votes across the country, compared to 12.9m and 10.3m when Jeremy Corbyn was at the helm in 2017 and 2019.

“I guess less really is more,” quipped a bemused Labour voter from Birmingham.

“It feels almost homoeopathic that we can do much better when get much less support! And I’ve always thought homeopathy was total bollocks. Maybe not?”

Political experts are still trying to unravel the mystery of how a party can be so decisively victorious while simultaneously being less popular with the electorate.

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Prime minister in-waiting Keir Starmer, who has somehow managed to succeed despite an election campaign in which he made bowls of soggy cereal look thoroughly charismatic, addressed the nation with a rousing speech.

“We did it!” Starmer exclaimed. “We have proven that you don’t need widespread public support to govern effectively.

“All you need is an incredibly efficient vote distribution strategy, a bit of electoral magic, and Nigel Farage.”

Meanwhile, the Conservative Party is reeling from their catastrophic loss.

“We still hoped we could pull off a miracle,” said one despondent Tory MP.

“I don’t get it, Labour did much better by being less popular – but we did worse by being less popular? It’s all so confusing.”

The new Labour government has promised to enact sweeping reforms, which they assure voters will be about as popular as their campaign.

“Expect more of the same,” explained Starmer.

“We’re absolutely committed to delivering the kind of policies that, based on our vote count, you’re clearly very indifferent about.”

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