Nation’s voters given historic opportunity to tell Tories to go and f**k themselves

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British voters are today being given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to tell the Conservative Party that has run the country into the ground over the last fourteen years to go fuck itself.

According to experts, today’s general election vote is less an opportunity to select the next leader of the nation, so much as the chance to remind Tories everywhere arseholes we think they all are.

Around the world, nations will watch as British voters that this unique chance to show the world that they have the ability to guide a leading nation in the direction of societal harmony, equality for all, and telling racists to go fuck themselves.

Political expert, Simon Williams, told us, “Setting the persuasive policy arguments made by the candidates to one side, the UK will wake on Friday morning to either of two plausible realities.

“One in which the incompetent millionaire leader and his party of narcissist cronies have been roundly told to fuck the fuck off, or another in which many of them get to enjoy yet more prolonged, ill-tempered orgasms on the GB News network.”

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Williams urged voters to imagine a forward-looking country in which people like Lee Anderson and Jacob Rees-Mogg aren’t constantly forced to appear on the news in order to defend the latest malicious government plan to demonise poor people, migrants, or both.

He concluded, “You can either offer a number of relatively quiet ‘fuck you’s at them many, many times over the next five-year parliamentary term, or you can just give them one enormous ‘FUCK YOU!’ today.

“Please choose wisely.”

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