Fat lady currently gargling

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

The fat lady might not have yet sung, but her warming-up exercises are currently well underway, according to many political commentators this morning.

As the nation goes to the polls, and a new government is likely just hours away, some right-wing supporters have repeatedly insisted ‘it’s not over until the fat lady sings’.

Political analyst Simon Williams told us, “Although it’s not technically over until she sings, casual observers will no doubt have noticed the range of vocal exercises she is currently undertaking, and the vigorous gargling noises coming from her dressing room.

“She might not have sung yet, but she’s about as close to doing it as she can get.”

“So he HASN’T sung yet then, has she!” insisted Derek Matthews, a Tory voter in a constituency that has been Tory for forty years, but is about to be lost to Labour.

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“I don’t care if she’s gargling. I don’t care if she’s walking to the stage. I don’t care if she’s stood at the mic clearing her throat the orchestra has piped up. If she hasn’t started singing then there’s still a CHANCE.

“Yes there is, shut up.”