Greg Hands launches stand-up career with brilliant ‘judge us on our record’ joke

Greg Hands hinted at starting a promising new career in comedy with a cracking gag about the failings of his own party.

The Conservative Trade Minister had journalists rolling in the aisles following an admittedly brilliant joke that voters should judge the Tory party on their political record before heading to the polls.

Taking to social media ahead of tomorrow’s election Mr Hands addressed questions about the fact that his party’s campaign seems to be nothing more than saying “Labour is bad”.

“Well I would say in answer to that question, judge us on our record,” Hands replied, prompting everyone who saw it to burst out laughing.

Christopher James, a professor of wit at Oxford University told reporters today, “Who knew that Greg Hands – the carrier of the famous note – could be so funny?

“We expected him to spend some time laying into Keir Starmer, but we never anticipated him displaying this level of self-deprecating good humour.”

He continued, “To be able to make a reference at such a pivotal time in the campaign to the years of Tory failures that have lowered living standards, cut to school funding, reduced levels in social care and the disastrous ongoing privatisation of the NHS, while also acknowledging their laughable attempts to curtail immigration, shows that he can be funnier than we ever thought possible.

“It’s almost as if the Tories do have a shred of self-awareness, or even humanity.

“Well, almost.”

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