Man who went to Glastonbury embarrassed to discover it was actually all on telly

author avatar by 3 weeks ago

A man who went to Glastonbury this past weekend is now feeling very silly after finding out he could have just watched it all on TV.

A full weekend ticket for Glastonbury cost around £350. That’s before travel, booze and wages lost due to the onset of scurvy.

But it didn’t have to be like that.

“What the fuck do you mean it was all on telly?” asked an incredulous Simon Williams after seeing a few high-definition highlights from the weekend filmed from far better vantage point than he enjoyed.

“Are you seriously telling me I could have been sitting in my armchair, with a lovely cold beer from the fridge in my hand, effortlessly flicking between stages without having to walk FUCKING MILES in the glare of the afternoon sun only to miss half the act?!

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“Instead of spending LCD Soundsystem’s set trying to find a place to stand where my view wasn’t blocked by some pisshead titting about on someone’s shoulders I could just have caught up with it Sunday evening after the Antiques Roadshow?

“Why weren’t we told about this? I’ve been completely misled – this is far worse than all that Brexit bus stuff.”

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