Donald Trump suspends Presidential campaign to concentrate on helping Nigel Farage win Clacton

author avatar by 1 week ago

Following Nigel Farage’s announcement that he will make an eighth attempt to become an MP, Donald Trump has suspended all campaigning in the US, declaring that his number one priority is to assist Nigel Farage’s election campaign.

This is believed to be in response to Mr Farage’s long-held promise that he would abandon his own political ambitions in order to help Trump’s campaign; a promise he kept through thick and thin for almost two weeks.

Mr Trump joined Nigel Farage outside Clacton town hall to launch his campaign. “Immigration is too high,” announced Mr Trump to a group of bemused shoppers, “there are too many bad, bad people coming here. Some with as many as 34 convictions.

“So, is this Clacton’s Capitol building? Just in case… actually, forget I asked.”

Later, a publicity stunt at a local pub was nearly ruined when Mr Farage had to apologise for the poor-quality beer.

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“Sorry, Donald, this beer tastes like piss!”

“No, Nigel, piss usually tastes more like warm vodka, in my experience,” replied Donald.

When asked whether his bid for Westminster meant he would no longer be helping Trump’s campaign, Mr Farage told reporters, “To be honest, my diary is probably going to be pretty empty from July the fifth onwards.”

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