Vincent Kompany unveiled as new Prime Minister and the President of the United States of America

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Vincent Kompany has been declared the new Prime Minister and also the President of the USA today, along with getting the Bayern Munich job, because his agent is clearly a genius.

With news emerging earlier that Kompany would be offered a three-year deal at Bayern after finishing the season with just 24 points in the Premier League and getting Burnley relegated, further news has now emerged that he has also secured the role as the leader of the free world and will also manage Brazil.

Speaking earlier his agent Simon Williams confirmed, “Yes, he starts Monday with the President thing, but only two days a week, but for full pay, obviously.

“And I have also got him the Brazil job, as he always wanted to manage there, and I knew he would be more than capable.”

When asked how on earth he had managed to secure such high profile positions for a manager with a pretty threadbare CV, he went on, “What can I say, he deserves everything he has got, sort of, and has totally proved himself cable of taking on these top jobs based on his previous track record.

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“Obviously I might have pulled a couple of strings to secure his roles and there MAY have been a couple of back handlers knocking about but I won’t say anything on the record, if you know what I mean.”

Asked if he thinks he can win the Bundesliga with Bayern next year we were told “I doubt it, but I fancy his chances at keep them up, possibly.”