All Catholics forced into using gay slurs due to papal infallibility

author avatar by 3 weeks ago

After the Pope used a gay slur to describe homosexual members of the priesthood, Catholics around the world have reluctantly begun embracing homophobia due to the doctrine of papal infallibility.

When asked at the Italian Bishops’ Conference if gay men should now be allowed to train for the priesthood as long as they remained celibate, Pope Francis said they should not and insisted there was enough ‘faggotness’ already.

However, due to the doctrine of papal infallibility, Catholics have woken to learn that the Pope was, in fact, definitely correct.

“It’s part of the deal when you’re Catholic,” explained lifelong catholic Simon Williams.

“Papal infallibility means the Pope cannot err when he teaches in matters of faith or morals, which means that if the Pope says there are too many faggots in the priesthood, then having too many faggots is now a ‘bad thing’.

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“It’s a shame, because I know a couple of gay blokes; Tristan who works in HR, and Derek who lives at number 27, they’re both perfectly nice people, but if the Pope says gay slurs are the accepted way of describing them, then I have no choice but to call them both faggots and insist we need fewer of them.

“The Pope is God’s representative on Earth, so obviously what he says is correct. I don’t make the rules, I just blindly follow them.”

Meanwhile, non-Catholics have asked if maybe instead of worrying about gays joining the priesthood, the Pope could focus on rooting out a few more of the actual nonces.