“Skeletor, Moriarty and Voldemort,” Jacob Rees-Mogg reveals his secret plan for election success

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has unveiled his controversial strategy to secure a sweeping victory in the next general election: a coalition of cunning villains and mastermind evildoers.

“Desperate times call for diabolical measures,” Rees-Mogg declared at a press conference held in the shadowy recesses of an undisclosed Victorian mansion.

“The electorate is yearning for leaders with the shrewdness of Skeletor, the intellectual prowess of Moriarty, and the persuasive charm of Voldemort himself.”

Rees-Mogg’s ambitious plan involves recruiting the world’s most notorious antagonists, along with Nigel Farage, to galvanise the Conservative Party’s campaign efforts ahead of the general election later this year.

“Nigel has always been a sort of low-budget Bond villain,” Rees-Mogg mused. “Bringing him on board is just the first step in a grander scheme of malevolence.”

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Critics have been quick to denounce the strategy, citing ethical concerns and potential apocalyptic consequences.

However, Rees-Mogg remained undeterred, telling us, “Naysayers be damned! Imagine the sheer electoral force of a Cabinet featuring Sauron as Minister of Foreign Affairs, Lex Luthor handling Economic Development, and Cruella de Vil overseeing the Department of Agriculture and Rural Affairs.”

Supporters within the party are already embracing the new direction.

“We’ve tried to be the good guys for too long,” said one anonymous MP. “Frankly, it’s boring and ineffective. Who wouldn’t want to see a budget delivered by Moriarty, complete with hidden traps and Machiavellian clauses?”

As the nation braces itself for a campaign season filled with dark magic, diabolical plots, and potential world domination, Rees-Mogg’s gamble might just be the most entertaining one yet.

“Victory at any cost,” Rees-Mogg concluded with a sinister grin.

“After all, the ends always justify the means when you’re dealing with the British electorate.”