Rats attempting to flee sinking ship trampled underfoot by Tory MPs

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Rats have today complained of Tory MPs ignoring the recognised order of things and trampling over them in order to flee their sinking ship.

With Nadhim Zahawi the latest high-profile Tory to jump ship rather than be pushed by the electorate, rats everywhere have suggested it’s time to update the classic idiom.

Rat Simon Williams told us, “For centuries, us rats have been used as the go-to turn-of-phrase when people begin abandoning a failing enterprise, but honestly, we can’t hold a candle to these Tories.

“I’ve lost two good friends this week alone, trampled under the feet or Tory MPs who clearly can’t wait to abandon their sinking party. And Natalie Elphicke wears heels – it was not a nice way to go.

“That Nadhim Zahawi fella came storming through earlier, could get off the ship quick enough. Not even so much as a glance backwards towards the carnage he was leaving behind. Only interested in saving his own skin and avoiding being taken down with the ship.

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“Sunak? Oh yeah, he’s still at the wheel, smiling like a simpleton and seemingly unaware the bow of his ship is now pointed 45 degrees in the air with most decks underwater.

“I suspect he’ll go down with it, and then find a way to blame everyone else.”