DIY SOS team arrives at Manchester Co-op Live Arena

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

The DIY SOS team have been called into Manchester’s Co-op Live Arena it has been revealed today. 

With news emerging last night of yet another last-minute cancellation at the brand new £350m venue, which has yet to fully open, arena bosses breathed a huge sigh of relief this morning as Nick Knowles finally arrived at the entrance with a handful of his trusty tradesmen.  

Speaking earlier,  presenter Knowles told us “They really need our help.

“We have decided to come and help these desperate people at the Co-op Live Arena, because quite frankly, the place is fucked.  

“We like to get involved when people really need our help, and trust me, these people really really need our help.

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“Which dickheads told you it would be ready by last month?  Are they actually taking the piss?

“Anyway we have drafted in 200 volunteers,  mainly electricians, to try and sort this out and help these desperate people get their lives back on track.”

Asked when the arena will be ready to safely open, with Take That due to perform next week, we were told, “Yeah we’re probably looking at about another 18 months.”