Music journalist issues glowing 5-star review of Taylor Swift’s new album after a friendly chat with Swifties in an abandoned warehouse

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A seasoned music journalist has penned a resoundingly glowing 5-star review of Taylor Swift’s latest album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” after a spirited and persuasive “discussion” with a group of devout Swifties in an abandoned warehouse.

The meeting, which began with music journalist Simon Williams being forced into the trunk of a station wagon, took place under dim warehouse lighting, where Williams was tied to a chair and gently encouraged by the group of enthusiastic fans to appreciate the intricate subtleties of Swift’s newest lyrical conquests.

According to sources close to Williams, the Swifties felt that Williams’ previous criticisms had not fully grasped the emotional depth and literary genius of Taylor’s work, and they were determined to ensure that Williams’ review reflected the true quality of Swift’s latest album.

“We just wanted him to see the light,” said one Swifty, who preferred to remain anonymous while polishing what looked suspiciously like a baseball bat.

“Sometimes all it takes is the right environment in which to listen and really understand the nuances of Taylor’s music.”

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Williams, who was reported missing for 24 hours before returning with a newfound appreciation for Swift’s artistry, described his review-writing experience as “enlightening.”

His review praised the album’s “unparalleled emotional resonance” and “lyrical masterpieces that resonate with the poetic souls of our generation,” sentiments that were notably absent from his initial draft, which had mysteriously disappeared during his brief sabbatical.

The review went viral almost instantly, applauded by Swifties worldwide as a “true and fair assessment” of Swift’s latest work.

Meanwhile, Williams has enthusiastically recommended “The Tortured Poets Department” to all his readers, emphasizing that the album is “absolutely perfect if you cherish your well-being and love your family.”

Critics and fans alike have lauded Williams’ review as a pinnacle of music journalism, though he now insists on writing his articles from undisclosed locations, citing a newfound appreciation for remote working practices.