Liz Truss releases new book titled “If I Did It” discussing ways she would have killed the Queen

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Former Prime Minister Liz Truss has launched her literary career with a new book titled “If I Did It,” in which she outlines hypothetical scenarios for the untimely demise of Queen Elizabeth II.

The release appears to be an audacious attempt to set the record straight following accusations that flew Truss’s direction following her assertion that the Queen’s death came at an “inconvenient time” for her, during her vanishingly brief tenure inside 10 Downing Street.

“This is purely speculative,” Truss writes in her foreword, “a flight of fancy about how, if I were to have done it, which I didn’t, it might have gone down.”

The book, a daring blend of historical fiction and crime mysteries, delves into various “strategies” that Truss could have employed to hypothetically lead to the Queen’s downfall, including a bizarre tea poisoning plot and a rogue corgi trained in the art of sabotage.

Literary experts have been left entirely unsurprised by the choice of Truss’ subject matter.

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“This is a woman trying to monetise every possible aspect of her blink-and-you’ll-miss-it prime ministership, including the most morbid parts,” commented Professor Simone Williams, an expert in political narratives from moron-herding grifters.

Meanwhile, Buckingham Palace has not officially responded to the book, although sources close to the royal family say the corgis are “not amused.”

The book includes chapters like “The Long Walk: A Stroll to Remember” and “The Coronation That Might Never Have Been,” each detailing a fictitious scenario in which Truss herself, through an intricate series of events, might have led directly to the monarch’s demise.

Public response has been overwhelmingly negative, though many have pointed out that the book itself doesn’t even make the top five worst things Liz Truss has done to the country.