Man seriously injured after opening his kitchen Tupperware cupboard without a helmet

author avatar by 1 month ago

A man has been seriously injured today after completely forgetting to wear a helmet before opening the Tupperware cupboard in his kitchen.

Simon Williams, who also forgot to wear body armour, made the calamitous error earlier after forgetting that the cupboard contained three thousand precariously balanced plastic containers crammed on the shelves inside, all waiting to fly out and strike him as soon as he opened the door.

Speaking earlier from his hospital bed, he told us, “I didn’t stand a chance.

“I popped into the kitchen for a drink, but ended up opening the cupboard next to the glasses by mistake, which contains thousands of plastic containers, all waiting to fly out and hit me.

“Everyone has a cupboard like this one, and normally I would prepare myself if I was going to go into the Tupperware cupboard with a helmet and some body armour, and then try to stand to the side as I opened the cupboard door.

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“But I totally messed it up and opened it without thinking. I’m lucky to be alive, really, they just kept on falling out thousands and thousands of containers which we never even use.

“Perhaps if I didn’t stack them in such an uneven manner, and then quickly close the door to keep them all in there, this kind of thing could be avoided in future? Or maybe if I tidied it up into some kind of order, but honestly, I just can’t be arsed.”

Asked if he actually needs to keep EVERY single plastic dish he ever gets his hands on, he told us, “You never know, it might come in handy one day…”