Donald Trump left devastated after receiving endorsement from woman who lost to a lettuce

author avatar by 1 month ago

Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has been left questioning his future in politics after earning a ringing endorsement from Liz Truss, a politician synonymous with abject failure and having her premiership outlived by a lettuce.

"Honestly, we'd rather have had the endorsement from the lettuce."

Despite currently being on trial for the first of four criminal charges he faces this year, Trump has told aides that Truss’ endorsement is the worst thing to happen to him since 2022 when his playing partner at Mar-a-lago saw his drive land in the water ensuring he couldn’t ‘find it’ at the edge of the fairway.

A Trump spokesperson told us, “This woman is a disaster, a walking calamity of incompetence and political failure. Having this woman’s backing is about as useful to us as having the endorsement of ISIS.

“If the political mind of Liz Truss thinks Donald Trump is the best thing for America, then it makes even Donald Trump question whether Donald Trump is the right man to lead the country.

“Honestly, we’d rather have had the endorsement from the lettuce.”

NewsThump Hoodies

Meanwhile, the Lettuce has spoken out to explain why it won’t be endorsing either candidate in the US election.

“Two very old men fighting it out to see which of them will continue their descent into senility while living in the White House? No thank you. I think I’ll stick to outliving British prime ministers.

“Rishi is already long past his sell-by date, so I should be fine.”