Wailing simpletons feeling bereft after learning that Sydney attacker wasn’t an Islamist

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Racist simpletons who spend every waking hour looking for something to be scared of have been left bereft today after learning that the Sydney attacker wasn’t an Islamist.

Derek Matthews, 54, tweeted within seconds of the news breaking of an attack at the Westfield shopping centre, telling his eight followers, “The so-called religion of peace strikes again!”

However, upon learning a few hours later that the attacker was, in fact, a white Australian called Joel, a frustrated Williams decided to double down, telling us, “That’s what they want you to think.

“Isn’t it convenient that this white dude committed an attack exactly like the hallucinated Islamist attack in my head?

“I think it’s better we all just pretend this was an Islamic terrorist, just like I said it was fifteen seconds after I heard about it. Otherwise, we’re simply looking at a human tragedy that I can’t exploit in any way to further my personal beliefs, and we can’t have that.”

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Meanwhile, non-morons have congratulated all the wailing simpletons on their sterling efforts to give Islamist terrorists absolutely everything they want.

Simon Williams told us, “It’s not like they’re hiding their aims. They want you scared; they want you looking over your shoulder at all times, and they want you to see the scary Islamic terrorist in your head every time something bad happens on the news. They crave that fear. And guess what? These morons are giving that to them, for free.

“These terrorists don’t even have to commit atrocities these days, they can just sit back and let the racist simpletons do all their work for them.”

Islamist Omar Al-Farouk told us, “The absolute worst thing in the world for us would be people in the West going about their days realising we are such a minuscule threat to them as an individual that they shouldn’t even give us a second thought.

“Thankfully, people like Britain First, Tommy Ten Names and the BNP are here to ensure that will never happen. Their insistence that everyone live in a perpetual state of fear is exactly what we want. We are grateful they’re such a big bunch of scaredy-cats trying to convince everyone to be as frightened as they are. It’s very helpful.

“So to all the wailing simpletons, we say thank you.”