Premier League title back in the balance as Harry Kane signs for Manchester City

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After a weekend which seemed to guarantee a fourth successive title for Manchester City, the title race has been blown wide open by the signing of Harry Kane from Manchester City.

News emerged last night that following Kane’s arrival in Munich, Bayern have failed to win the league for the first time since the stone age, and now the England captain has decided to join Man City for the remainder of the season, because apparently it’s his best hope of ever winning a trophy.

The Premier League has ratified the move outside of a transfer window, because they’re kind of interested to see if the Kane effect is equally effective on a Pep Guardiola side.

Speaking earlier, Kane’s agent told us, “Yes, he’s joining City.  And if he still doesn’t win the league, then he’s fucking retiring.

“Harry has gone to Germany and scored loads of goals, but he still doesn’t have a trophy to his name, so this is the only way we can fix that.”

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Fans of Arsenal and Liverpool have welcomed the move, despite seeing their main rival for the title sign another proven goalscorer.

Arsenal fan Simon Williams told us, “Harry Kane is a brilliant player, who will put in terrific performances and score a hateful of goals, on the way to your team failing to win anything. So yes, I’m delighted he’s signing for city.

“He’ll probably get into double figures by the end of May, while Liverpool and ourselves suddenly hit the sort of form you only see once or twice a century, pipping City on the final day, when they conceded a 105th-minute equaliser against West Ham from their first shot on target.”

We asked Liverpool fan Dan Logan what he would do if this transfer meant Arsenal would go on to win the league, and we were told, “Ha ha ha. Arsenal. Good one.”