Rishi Sunak insists UK can circumvent the European Court of Human Rights by reclassifying asylum seekers as sub-human

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Rishi Sunak has insisted the government doesn’t need to leave the European Court of Human Rights to prevent deportations of migrants, as he can simply reclassify all asylum seekers as sub-human.

Sunak insists he would be willing to leave the ECHR if necessary, but such a move won’t be required once the government legislates that asylum seekers are not human beings and are no longer deserving of basic human rights.

Sunak told readers of The Sun, “The disastrous ECHR won’t be able to do anything to stop us, even though they keep on saying that asylum seekers are humans too, because we know different, don’t we?

“Let’s be honest, the concept of human rights has been nothing but a pain in our collective backsides ever since 1950.

“Apparently, you can’t go around putting humans seeking refuge in prison barges, or putting them on a plane to Rwanda, even when they claiming to be asylum seekers – I mean, everyone knows asylum seekers are animals, not human; what’s the big deal?”

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Sunak went on to try to calm those who had been left angry by the news, insisting this was not the end of human rights in the United Kingdom.

He explained, “Look, you can rest easy because we’re going to make our own Human Rights Council, and it will be the best Human Rights Council in the world, where only the best people will be classified as human.

“Anyone will be able to submit an application, but we will be very choosy about who we let be classified as human – we have to be. None of these migrant sorts, or anyone else we don’t like. None of those, obviously.”

Meanwhile, many government supporters have taken to looking at themselves in the mirror this morning and asking themselves the question, “What… what if we’re the baddies?”