New study finds shopping at motorway services like ‘visiting the ghost of Brexit future’

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

Stopping at a motorway service station is like experiencing a grim vision of the future of Brexit Britain after the the government confirmed the post-Brexit price impact on food imports stating this month.

From the 30th April, “common user charge”, will apply to animal products, plants and plant products entering the UK from the EU through the Port of Dover and the Eurotunnel at Folkestone, costs that will be passed on to UK consumers, raising prices to those seen by anyone buying food at a service station.

The new study concluded that each and every motorway service station gave consumers a glimpse of the Brexit future ahead of them.

The spokesperson for the study, Simon Williams, told us, “The findings are pretty conclusive. Each and every motorway services offers a wide selection of awful tat that you don’t need, and food you don’t like, at prices that seem an awful lot higher than they were just five minutes ago.

“If you think that cheeseburger is expensive in the services today, try buying it on the High Street in the summer of 2024.

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“As for all the useless paraphernalia on sale for £10 a pop from that dodgy-looking fella outside the toilets, welcome to Britain’s post-Brexit manufacturing industry. Your next job might be making those glowy key-ring things.”

The study has been criticised by some for making Brexit Britain look like something you can easily drive yourself away from, or simply choose not to participate in if you ‘don’t like the look of it’.

However, Williams concluded, “I think a lot of people are needlessly worried about what the country will look like when we finally introduce al the post-Brexit fees and charges we’ve been trying to delay. Well, I’m here to tell you they needn’t be worried.

“Just pop along to the nearest motorway services, have a bite to eat, browse the shops, and realise it won’t be a literal ‘Hell on Earth’, it will just be a slightly more dreadful and expensive version of what we have now.”