Nike replaces Three Lions on England kit with three pink flamingos

author avatar by 4 weeks ago

Nike have updated the design of the new England kit once again, by replacing the three lions badge with three pink flamingos.

The controversial design change comes on the back of any earlier backlash against the decision to change the St George’s Cross on the kit, mainly from a few vocal supporters who actually give a shit about things like this, and politicians who want to pretend they give a shit about things like this order to get some votes in an election year.

A spokesperson for Nike confirmed the move earlier, telling us, “It looks really good.

“We can confirm that we have implemented another small design change on the new England kit, which we are certain everyone will love.

“It’s hardly noticeable, to be honest. It’s just a little playful change of the animal that happens to appear on the kit.

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“We have decided to change – get this – the dark blue lions on the front to flamingos. Pink ones. And we’ve done it playfully, which means it’s okay. It’s brilliant.

“There’s no way people will be angry about it, because they all clearly took the slight change of colour to the bit on the back of the neck so well.  So we’re just going to go with it and print tens of thousands of them for sale.”

Asked to comment on the new design, England fan and seasoned hooligan, Simon Williams, told us, “Flamingos!?  Aren’t they the gay ones or something?  It’s a fucking disgrace!

“How can I intimidate the locals on the street of some European backwater when I’ve got flamingos on my chest? And poor old Skinner and Baddiel will have to record their song AGAIN!”