Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow confirms attendance of Princess of Wales on their website

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The Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow has updated its website today after receiving confirmation that the Princess of Wales will attend at the weekend dressed as an Oompa Loompa.

With news emerging earlier that the Ministry of Defence has had to backtrack on claims that the Princess will attend Trooping of the Colour in the summer, further news has now emerged that the Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow has definitely secured her attendance 100%, without a doubt.

Promoter for Wonka Experience Simon Williams confirmed, “Yes, she is DEFINITELY going to be there, so it’s £60 per ticket now, but you won’t be disappointed.

“We can confirm that the Princess of Wales will be appearing at the magical fantasy experience that is Willy’s Chocolate Experience this weekend, dressed as an Oompa Loompa. It’s right there on the website in black and white.

“It’s going to be amazing, the place where chocolate dreams become reality, and not at all shite with literally fuck all there.

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“It will have the Princess of Wales and probably some other Royals, too, and they’ll be all over the place, making it an experience to remember and definitely not a rip-off.

“So get your tickets online.  Oh and no phones allowed this time. Or pictures.”

Asked which other members of the Royal family might be making an appearance we were told, “ Loads of them. But not Prince Andrew. Obviously.”

“I went to the Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow and all I got was a lousy epiphany that most advertising is callously designed to mislead, and life is nothing but a perpetual conveyor belt of crushing disappointments.”