It’s not Muslamophobia because I’m not afraid of Muslamics, insists Lee Anderson

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Lee Anderson has today defended his comments about the Mayor of London, insisting he can’t be a “Muslaphobic” because he “isn’t afraid of Muslamics”.

This clarification comes in the wake of Anderson’s controversial remarks suggesting that London’s mayor has handed the entire capital city over to Islamists.

“I don’t know why people are saying I’ve got this Islamo-what’s-it,” Anderson stated, scratching his head with the finesse of a man who has just discovered the word ‘xenophobia’ and thinks it’s a type of skin condition.

“I’m not scared of them. Not one bit. How can it be a phobia if I’m not hiding under my bed, eh?”

Anderson, in his quest to prove his point, has resorted to using a variety of Muslim stereotypes, which he believes are not offensive because “they’re just facts, aren’t they?”

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Among his claims are that he loves kebabs – a testament to his profound cultural understanding and not at all a reduction of an entire religion to a fast-food dish.

Critics have suggested that Anderson’s misunderstanding of the term ‘Islamophobia’ might stem from a deeper ignorance, but Anderson was quick to rebut, “I’ve watched Aladdin three times, thank you very much. I know all about their flying carpets and genies.”

As the saga continues to unfold, many are left wondering whether Anderson’s next campaign will aim to clarify that he’s not lactose intolerant, merely “cheese-skeptical.”

The last word went to Anderson, who told reporters, “I’m not afraid of anything, except maybe running out of tea bags and being vulnerable enough to show geniune affection for another human being in public.”