If parts of Ukraine want to be independent, just let them, demands man who insists Scotland must stay part of the UK

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As the Ukraine war enters it’s third year, any regions of Ukraine that don’t want to be under the control of the Ukrainian government should be allowed independence, according to a man who has spent the last seven years insisting Scotland must stay part of the United Kingdom.

Simon Williams, an armchair commentator who has skillfully pivoted from expertise in EU trade deals and epidemiology to Ukrainian geopolitics said, “If the people of Donetsk and Luhansk want to be separate from Ukraine, then we should just let them.  If they want to be Russian, so what – that’s their choice.

“I’m not Ukranian, so I shouldn’t get to tell them what to do. Everyone should be allowed to determine their own future, free from the control of a government they don’t recognise and which probably doesn’t have their best interests at heart.

“No region should be kept under the authority of a government they don’t want against their will.

“Well, unless they’re Scottish, obviously.

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“If they’re Scottish then it would be a huge mistake to separate from Westminster because determining their own future would be a disaster – for them.

“It’s also different because Scotland had an internationally recognised referendum on the subject, which should have ended the matter, like, forever – whereas Vladimir Putin says those parts of Ukraine definitely want to be Russian, so we should all take his word for it.

“Yes, I understand to non-experts in global geopolitics that this will look a bit like a hypocritical position to take, but hear me out. Ukraine should let those regions choose their allegiance because it’s a long way away, doesn’t affect me personally, and Russian money is quite helpful to our economy.  Whereas Scotland shouldn’t get to choose it’s allegiance because it’s quite close, affects me personally, and losing Scotland from the UK would harm our economy and our already diminishing standing on the global stage.

“I hope that clears it up for you.”