Tucker Carlson excites more controversy with sympathetic Warmaster Abaddon interview

author avatar by 3 weeks ago
NewsThump needs your help

Tucker Carlson has become the first Imperial journalist to enter the Eye of Terror and speak with Warmaster Abaddon since the start of the Long War ten thousand years ago.

Abaddon, also known as the Arch-fiend and despoiler of worlds, invited Carlson after he was offered a chance to give his fair and unbiased opinions across the Noosphere by owner Belisarius Musk.

Carlson asked the Warmaster of chaos why he began the war, and Abaddon took the opportunity to give a lecture on a thousand centuries of history which took him a little over two years standard.

”You have to understand the Emperor does not rule the Imperium,” Abaddon told Carlson.

“He is an empty corpse, withered and lost. Instead of power at the centre there is nothing but confusion and politicking.

NewsThump Hoodies

“Meanwhile I reject the suggestion that I am in poor health, but I am often depicted in Imperium media as having no arms,” Abaddon added.

He went on to suggest Regent Roboute Guilliman’s great age has resulted in him losing his memory and suggested he no longer remembers or truly understands what he is fighting for.

With his trademark ‘confused dog trying to understand quantum theory’ frown, Carlson asked about the legions of slaves seized from imperial worlds and held inside the realm of chaos itself, to which Abaddon offered an exchange in return for the denizens of the Dark Cells beneath the Imperial palace – who Abaddon said were unjustly accused and imprisoned political prisoners.

Carlson has faced criticism over his failure to ask Abaddon about alleged war crimes committed by the Night Lords legion, and the use of chemical weapons by the Death Guard.

The interview ended with Abaddon presenting Carlson with several gifts to take home with him, including numerous historical documents which purport to uphold the claims of the Pantheon of Chaos over the material universe, and a proliferation of tentacles where his face should be.

Abaddon’s closing words to the Imperium were ‘Magnus did nothing wrong’ but nobody is expected to believe that.