Concern for Labour as new poll shows majority don’t consider Starmer funky enough to be next Prime Minister

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Labour have faced a blow to their General Election hopes after a new poll revealed that the majority of Brits don’t consider Sir Keir Starmer funky enough to be Prime Minister.

In response to the question ‘How funky do you consider Sir Keir Starmer to be?’ only 36% responded ‘quite’ or ‘very’ funky, which is considered below the threshold for becoming a British Prime Minister.

When people in Chelmsford’s High Chelmer precinct were asked, they seemed to agree with the poll.

“Keir Starmer? He seems like a nice enough bloke, but funky? I mean, not really. He’s a bit too serious to be funky isn’t he?” Said one.

“Funky? No. He’s good on that PMQs, but I couldn’t see him singing something like Superfreak or Word Up,” said another.

Labour have played down the results.

“Look. Keir isn’t that well known to the public yet,” explained a Starmer aide.

“You’ve got to remember, up until about 2001, no one thought Tony Blair was particularly funky, and he’d been in Government for four years at that point. Gordon was never considered funky enough to be PM, but without him, the 2008 financial crash would have sent the British economy spiralling into depression.”

It does seem that, despite their protestations, Labour are taking the poll results seriously and have booked Sir Keir in for a crash course in breakdancing and have scheduled an appearance at a Butlins Soul Weekender next month to perform a DJ set and possibly even some backing vocals with The Real Thing.