Met Police confirm willingness to open investigation into any crime for which you gather all the evidence and make a four-part TV drama

author avatar by 2 months ago
NewsThump needs your help

The Met police have confirmed it will happily commit the resources required to investigate any crime that has been featured in four hours of prime-time television, as long as you’ve also spent decades gathering all the required evidence.

The news comes after Met officials admitted the force is now investigating the Post Office over potential fraud offences committed during the Horizon IT scandal, following the hit ITV drama, “Mr Bates vs The Post Office”.

A police spokesperson told us, “We are committed to investigating crime wherever it is reported, but honestly, it’s much easier if you spend the best part of 20 years gathering all the evidence we’d need and then make a hit TV drama about it.

“If you do that, then we’ll probably put the crime you want investigating right at the top of our list.”

The Met spokesperson went on, “People have to remember that investigating crime is difficult, time-consuming and also expensive. So obviously we’re going to be more focussed on solving crimes where someone else has done all the work for us.

NewsThump Best sellers

“If you can report a crime where you’ve gathered all the necessary evidence in advance, have a suspect available, and it’s received lots and lots of media scrutiny, then that would be a huge incentive for us to get right on to investigating it.”

62-year-old Basingstoke resident Derek Williams told us, “I’ve actually found it very difficult to get the police to investigate my burglary with anything more than a cursory glance at the circumstances of the crime. It’s almost like it’s too much effort to try and catch the culprits.

“That’s why I’m currently in discussions with ITV to commission my new drama, ‘The Gypsies Stole My Television’.”