Man’s 30-year fantasy to ‘lick a Spice Girl’ finally on verge of becoming a reality

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In a move that has delighted 48-year-old Spice Girls fan Simon Williams, Royal Mail is launching a collection of Spice Girl stamps to commemorate the band’s 30th anniversary.

Williams’ 30-year fantasy to ‘lick a Spice Girl’ is finally on the cusp of becoming reality, thanks to Royal Mail’s latest commemorative stamp collection.

Williams, who still logs into Spice Girls websites with the username “Spicy Si”, revealed that his infatuation began in the 90s with the rise of the iconic pop group.

“I’ve had this dream where I’m sending off a letter with a Sporty Spice stamp, and it’s just so real, you know?” Simon confessed, eyes glazed with a mix of nostalgia and unsettling determination.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamed of looking into Ginger Spice’s eyes before flipping her over and giving her a really good lick.

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“And now, with these stamps, it’s like I’m one step away from making it happen. It’s like a surreal Christmas.”

The collection, which features the iconic faces of Scary, Baby, Ginger, Posh, and Sporty, will require the traditional method of licking to adhere them to envelopes.

Royal Mail, unaware of the impending demand of middle-aged perverts, released a statement saying, “We wanted to honour a significant piece of British pop culture. We certainly didn’t anticipate… this.”

Social media has erupted with reactions ranging from amused to horrified, with one Twitter user commenting, “It’s 2024, and the world’s gone mad. People are out here trying to fulfil their Spice Girl-licking fantasies through postage stamps. It’s disgusting. In the good old days, we would have licked an actual Spice Girl.”

As Williams prepares for what he calls “the lick of a lifetime,” philatelists have been keen to make it clear that very few of their members are perverts.