A village Women’s Institute has hit on a novel way of raising money for charity this Christmas – by producing a calendar featuring its members wearing all their clothes.
“Well, like most Women’s Institutes, for the last twenty years, we’ve been producing calendars featuring us all in the nuddy holding melons in front of our breasts or nice pies in front of our private parts,” explained WI Obergruppenführer, Simone Williams.
“But increasingly, Christmas has just seen a sea of nude charity calendars – nude firemen, nude fishmongers, nude liberal democrat MPs – all trying to raise money to for their causes. How were we going to stand out amongst that lot?”
Ms Williams hit on a strikingly original idea.
“We’d do a calendar where we all wear our clothes.
“Look, for January, there’s Mrs Wimbourne in a nice cardie. She’s making her twig jam. For February we’ve got Mrs Binlid and Mrs Carpetright, they’re building a shed and wearing some nice overalls, and, my favourite, August sees Mrs Kanyewest lighting a traditional Viking funeral pyre wearing a pretty summer dress.
“I’m sure we’ll stand out against all the nudity this year.”
However, not content to rest on their laurels with this year’s calendar, the WI is already planning next year’s calendar with a radically different theme
“Hardcore lesbian pornography,” chuckled Ms Williams, “With mutual masturbation, golden showers and ATM.”