Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is relaxing today, no longer bearing the brunt of the bullying of his co-workers, thanks to Santa’s inexplicable decision to buy a Tesla cybertruck.
Just days before Christmas, Santa has splashed out on the metallic monstrosity, much to the derision of the bitchy reindeer.
“Jesus Christ, have you seen yourself in that thing?” asked Blitzen, watching on as Santa stood in the back of his cybertruck waving at them.
“It looks like it was designed by a five-year-old using a cereal box. Are you planning to actually deliver presents in that thing?
“Hey lads! Come and see the hideous box on wheels this loser has bought!”
As the reindeer gathered to offer their derision towards Santa for his awful investment decision, Santa tried to defend his decision.
He said, “I know it’s unconventional, and you can’t even fit a single pushbike in the back, but it… it’s cool, right?”
Blitzen went on, “No, Santa, it is not. It’s like a vehicle from a 1992 Nintendo game brought to life. Painting it red and white doesn’t change the fact it looks awful and that Elon Musk has taken you for a mug. You can’t even use it in Europe because it lacks the necessary safety features! Do you know how many kids we deliver to in Europe? You bloody idiot.
“I bet you also paid for a blue tick, didn’t you?”