Baroness Mone has hit back at accusations she pilfered millions in tax payer funds for useless PPE with a hard-hitting investigative documentary in which reveals she is brilliant and everyone else is lying.
After disappearing from public view to spend the best part of a year counting all the money she made selling dodgy PPE to the government through a brand-new company, Mone has returned to clear her name.
She told reporters, “What better way to counter the accusations against me than with a thorough investigation of the facts, all documented on film?
“Unfortunately, no serious documentary-makers wanted to make such a programme, so I had to do it myself. But that wasn’t a problem, because it was all funded by the company I’m accused of using to pilfer those funds. In fact, they said spare no expense because they had a lot of cash sitting around.
“So yes, the use of gratuitous CGI to make me look like a Jedi knight in the bit about the VIP fast line might be over the top, but apparently it’s all tax deductible.”
Meanwhile, viewers have said they’re unlikely to watch the documentary.
“I’m about as willing to watch Baroness Mone try and salvage her reputation with her own propaganda video as I would be to watch a Matt Hancock documentary titled ‘How I saved the world’.
“If she wants to clear her name, she can do it in a court of law, which, if the National Crime Agency pulls it finger out won’t be too much longer.”