Rishi Sunak promises to promise promises in new promise promise

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The Prime Minister has promised a new raft of promises in a new promise promise today.

He promised that the promised promises would be brought in within 100 days.

The new promises will include a promise to introduce extra new promises just as soon as the last lot have been forgotten.

He went on to promise the promises would be tattooed onto a shaved badger’s arse which he would look at every day.

Sunak went on to promise funding for a giant space laser which would be used to write his promises on the moon so he could see them at night too.

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“Clearly you or I can’t be expected to remember my promises so I promise to write them down,” he told reporters.

“And I promise that my promises will promise promises that promise promise.”