Crooner Michael Buble will be brought out of his state of cryogenic stasis to record a seasonal album.
With Britain now well into the Christmas season, according to the catalogue companies, the handlers of Canadian crooner and ubiquitous festive stalwart Michael Buble, have decided it’s time for him to reappear and do his thing.
Speaking from a cryogenics lab just outside Quebec, scientist Simon Williams told reporters, “Michael has been in a state of ‘cold sleep’ since 7th January. To him, no time has passed. This explains why he never seems to age. Also, he’ll be completely unaware of anything that’s happened in 2023. The lucky sod.”
After several hours in a sauna, Mr Buble is ready to perform.
“Basically what I do is read some cheery, sentimental stuff from this card. Then a man at a mixing desk changes my voice into alternating high and low notes. Pretty simple really. We use the same method for every song but it seems to work.
“In fact, you know that sound a police siren makes? That just Haven’t Met You Yet played really fast. I get royalties every time there’s an emergency. Great, huh?”
Radio stations in the UK are already clearing 20% of their airtime for when the new album is released.