The poor boy mentioned in the Queen hit “Bohemian Rhapsody” is a drain on society, according to the Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt.
Hunt listed several reasons why they will be sanctioning his and his family’s benefits for the foreseeable future.
Hunt told reporters, “Firstly, he killed someone, so I mean, that’s a biggy.
“Then we have to talk about how he is clearly on drugs all the time. If you can’t tell the difference between real life and fantasy then you need to get off those narcotics and sort your life out.
“Then we know that nobody loves him. Probably because of his aggressive drug use and murdering.
“And don’t give me any of that ‘shivers down my spine, body’s aching all the time’ rubbish, I’ve made it perfectly clear that even those on disability allowance should be getting a job where they can work from home, or they’ll lose their benefits.
“He’s poor entirely because of his own actions, and he needs to take personal responsibility for that. Cutting his benefits should immediately rectify the situation and we hope that he doesn’t ruin any more lives again.”
The spokesperson went on to say that should anyone see the little silhouettes of a man, they should immediately hand them in to police for their antisocial behaviour.