‘I didn’t say Stockton is a shithole’ insists shithouse

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A shithouse has refused to admit to saying that Stockton-on-Tees is a shithole it is revealed today, despite being heard to say those exact words clearly in parliament .

James Cleverly who called the area a shithole during Prime Ministers Questions, and was recorded doing so, and subsequently heard by hundreds of thousands of people doing so, has denied calling the area a shithole, because he appears to be a shithouse who won’t admit what he said.

Speaking earlier he confirmed “I categorically deny calling Stockton a shithole, because I am a shithouse, and I am far too scared to admit it and say sorry.

“Obviously the clear recording of me calling it a shithole causes a significant problem with my denial, so I will simply just ignore this aspect and continue to be a shithouse.

“I was actually calling the MP a shithole, because that makes perfect sense. Calling a person instead of an area a shithole is definitely a normal way of saying things, and not totally made up at all. If you don’t believe me, go and look at all the Tory sycophants online insisting they call people shitholes all the time.

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“So I therefore won’t be apologising to the people of Stockton, because I am a shithouse.”

Asked if he has personally apologised to the MP in question then for apparently calling him a shithole we were told, “No. Because as I’ve said, I am a shithouse.”