Nation’s easily-manipulated simpletons continue to be enthralled by arsehole in the jungle

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The UK has proven once again that it is choc-full of pliable imbeciles willing to forgive anything if someone is capable of consuming an animal sphincter for their entertainment.

As Nigel Farage continues entertain simpletons with his appearance in I’m a Celebrity, non-morons everywhere let out a collective sigh and muttered, “this is why we can’t have nice things.”

Fan of the show and borderline simpleton Simon Williams told us, “Look, I know he’s been responsible for stoking division and demonising minorities and the vulnerable, but look at how much fun he’s been in the jungle. When he ate the cock pizza? That was brilliant.

“And yes, to be completely clear, if someone is willing to debase themselves on TV for a few minutes each evening then I can happily forgive them for spending their entire political career making the whole country a less welcoming place for anyone who dares to be slightly different, and for making the entire country worse after Brexit.

“I’m not saying I would definitely vote for him in an election, but it’s very very likely.”

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