David Cameron identified as Patient Zero in pig flu outbreak

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As H1N2 pig flu is identified in the UK for the first time, medical authorities have moved quickly to identify the first patient.

The strain is understood to have jumped the species barrier at a ‘very specialist’ event in Downing Street last week.

“I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised given the predilection in government for holding superspreader events during Covid, and the return of Cameron to frontline politics meant that this was only a matter of time”, said Chief Medical advisor Sir Simon Williams.

“Like many diseases, transmission can only happen in very close proximity – some might say an intimate manner.”

“Oh, God, do I really have to read this? I don’t want to think about it”, he added.

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The public are warned that plans to pig out over Christmas may have a double-meaning this year, and so they should carefully check they doing it the right way before starting.