Government to ‘encourage’ wheelchair users to work as shopping trolleys

author avatar by 8 months ago

Wheelchairs users could replace shopping trolleys as part of a new government Trolley-for-Lolly work programme designed to get the disabled back into the workforce.

More than half a million disabled people face losing benefits under new cuts as the government attempts to lift disabled claimants out of benefits and under the wheels of a bus.

The minister against disabled people, Mel Stride, said, “The cuts will ensure that people who need the most help, such as those with large inheritances, are properly targeted.

“The Trolley-for-Lolly scheme will restore dignity to wheelchair users and potentially provide an extra pair of arms to shoppers.”

The Department for Work and Pensions have pointed to a wealth of fact-free evidence detailing the gratitude that non-existent claimants feel, for illustrative purposes only.

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“John from Melchester was delighted when we removed his benefits because it gave him the motivation he needed to turn his life around,” insisted a spokesperson.

“Within a fortnight he’d regained his eyesight and secured a six-figure salary working in adventuring.

“He also does space exploring with a team of fashion models on weekends.

“It’s all about thinking positively.”