Man City relegated to East Manchester U9’s league after record 12,000 points deduction

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Manchester City have been relegated to the East Manchester Under 9’s Saturday League it is revealed today after receiving a record 12,000 points deduction for financial irregularities.

With news emerging last week that Everton have been deducted 10 points by the Premier League for breaching profit and sustainability rules, further news has now emerged that Manchester City have been docked a massive twelve thousand points for similar offences meaning they will now be playing under 9’s football with immediate effect.

A spokesperson for the club confirmed, “We’ve got Brendon Bees Under 9’s this Saturday and it’s a must win.

“We accept the punishment given to us by the Premier League and footballing authorities because, you know – we cheated – and we look forward to kickstarting our season in the East Manchester Under 9 league right away.

“Obviously it’s disappointing that we couldn’t drop a few leagues down and possibly play in the National League or something, but the points deduction was too much, and we’ve had to drop down further.

“On a plus note, it’s only 9-a-side at this level and we have a large squad so we hope to get out of this league soon and work our way back up the leagues.”

Asked if they will be fielding any players who are over nine-years-old in the games, we were told, “Noooooooooo, not us. That would be cheating. Thankfully Haaland is only six.”