Nigel Farage perfectly happy to ignore the “will of the people” if it means he can avoid bushtucker trials

author avatar by 3 weeks ago

Nigel Farage has announced he is perfectly happy ignoring the ‘democratic will of the people’ if it involves a bushtucker trial that might make him a bit uncomfortable.

With his entrance into the jungle set to break records with the number of people who will vote to see him engage in all manner of awful tasks, Farage has been proactive in getting his excuses in early.

Farage explained, “I have some health issues, which everyone knows, and which didn’t stop me signing up to be paid over a million quid to do this.

“But I do believe in democracy, so if people vote for me to suffer in the jungle, then I will suffer. Well, unless it’s something I don’t want to do, in which case I will simply explain I can’t do it for some unspecified medical reason.

“Because if we’d learned anything since the Brexit referendum, we’ve learned that I can pretend a vote means anything I like, even when there is no evidence for my assertion. I can claim people voted for me hoping I’d have to eat a beautifully cooked lobster dinner in under an hour – and you won’t be able to prove I’m wrong.

“I’ve been at this a long time. You haven’t seen anything yet.”