Everton delighted to take 10 point deduction in a season when the three promoted sides are so utterly dreadful

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Everton football club has announced it’s delight at receiving a 10-point penalty in a season when the three promoted teams are so monumentally awful that their Premier league survival is still assured.

The club has been docked 10 points for breaching the Premier League’s profit and sustainability rules, which is apparently only allowed if you’re an oligarch or an oil magnate.

Everton fan Simon Williams told us, “Let’s be honest, a 10 point deduction in any of the last couple of years would have seen us relegated – but thankfully not this year. Even though it’s still only in November, and we’ll be docked 10 points, we STILL won’t be bottom of the table.

“Even with this deduction we’re still just two points from safety, with two-thirds of the season to go. We’ll be fine this season, thankfully.

“We’re so lucky that Luton, Sheffield United and Burnley are just so hopelessly bad that even a mediocre season and a 10-point penalty will still be enough to survive. We’ll probably be clear of the relegation zone after Christmas.”

Burnley fan Derek Matthews told us, “Is there any chance they could make it 30 points?”

Meanwhile, Luton fans are celebrating being out of the relegation places until at least next weekend.