A local cat claims to be ‘on the brink of starvation’ after not being given any food since just before you went to bed, it has emerged.
The cat, 4-year-old Simon Purrliams, told his owner he has lost almost half his body weight since hoovering up half a pack of Whiskas at 9pm yesterday – leaving him at severe risk of malnutrition and even death if he is not fed again immediately.
“So cold…so hungry…” Purrliams told us, pathetically, before turning side on so you would be able to see his ribs if they weren’t buried beneath a thick layer of blubber.
“I’m not sure I have the strength to walk to the kitchen…”, he went on.
“Perhaps you’d better bring the bowl to me here, before…I die!”, he concluded dramatically.
The cat, who basically resembles a large, furry rugby ball with legs, was only fed ‘two or three, maybe four’ times yesterday, which any sensible animal nutritionist should know isn’t enough to ensure a decent eight hours of shut-eye without being woken by your pet sticking his bum in your face.