Suella Braverman spotted buying a tent

author avatar by 8 months ago

Newly unemployed Suella Braverman has been caught tent shopping, in what one presumes is a lifestyle choice.

The former Home Secretary and 13th worst modern Tory (list available on request) was snapped exiting a branch of CampULike with a half-price, single occupancy CampMaster 5000.

”Oh, this? It’s… er… a gift, for someone. Yes, I give gifts to people. To the many friends I have.

”This definitely isn’t for me or for a change of lifestyle I’ve suddenly chosen for myself. Be assured of that.

”On an unrelated topic, which shop doorways are typically the warmest? You look like you might know… I imagine it’s John Lewis or somewhere similar?”

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CampULike salesperson, SIMON Williams, told us, “She approached the till with tears in her eyes. I felt sorry for her until I realised who she was, and then I chuckled and doubled the price.

”I told her not to worry, those police officers for whom she had such kind words will be more than sympathetic when they find her sleeping rough in Hyde Park.”