After Crispin Blunt confirmed he was the latest Tory MP arrested in connection with a rape allegation, millions of voters have realised it must be Friday and time to put the bins out.
The latest arrest follows accusations and charges of sexual misconduct against other Tory MPs such as Neil Parish, Imran Khan, David Warburton, Andrew Griffiths, Charlie Elphicke, Rob Roberts, Peter Bone and Chris Pincher, with many people now using a Tory being accused of sexual impropriety as a handy reminder to complete their weekly chores.
“It’s as regular as clockwork,” explained voter Simon Williams.
“My missus always moans that I forget to put the bins out, so I’m actually grateful to the Tory party for arranging to have their MPs face sexual allegations with such alarming regularity.
“Whenever I hear on the news that another Tory MP has been arrested, or charged, or is being investigated, or had the whip withdrawn, my first thought is always ‘Christ, is it bin day again already?’
“I almost missed bin day last week because Peter Bone wasn’t suspended until really late and I was getting ready for bed. Thankfully the news alert came through and I got the recycling out in time.
“God help me if the Tory party ever gets rid of the all the sexual deviants in their ranks, our bins would be overflowing and the missus would kill me.
“I guess it would be nice for their victims though, obviously.”