GB News has ensured its reputation as a serious news organisation remains untarnished after hiring Boris Johnson, a man forced to resign in disgrace from multiple jobs and with a reputation for lying to his colleagues, the public, and each of his wives.
Johnson has been hired by the ailing propaganda channel in the hope he can stop it losing £30m a year, and make slightly more cost effective for it’s middle-eastern based owners to get their ideological viewpoints in front of the nation’s viewers.
Johnson will have a range of roles at the channel, from presenter, to programme maker, to commenter, and will now bring his special brand of dishonesty to the airwaves.
GB News producer Simon Williams told us, “Fans of GB News already know we have, at best, a tenuous grasp of the truth, so Boris brings zero baggage in that respect.
“Yes, any other news channel might be concerned about hiring a man whose journalistic career involves being fired from one newspaper for making up a quote, and conspiring to have another reporter beaten up – but not at GB News. These are trivialities that only cause concern for our lesser news channel rivals.
“Yes, he resigned in disgrace for lying to his colleagues, and yes he lied to all his previous wives, and yes, he misled parliament about breaking the law during lockdown, and yes, there are plenty of other examples of him lying to various people whenever its in his own interests, or even when he just fancies doing a spot of lying.
“We know he lies as easily as he breathes, but speaking as a serious news channel, we just don’t care.”
Non-viewer Derek Matthews told us, “Boris Johnson and GB News is a match made in heaven. GBeebies finally has it’s very own Mr Bumble.”