Weather across Britain has been so bad over the last 24 hours that even Audi drivers are only doing 70 on the motorway, according to reports.
Police forces across the country, report revenues have fallen by ‘hundreds of thousands in a day’, as storms forced Audi owners to discover gears lower than fifth.
“It’s weird and I don’t like it,” Audi owner Simon Williams told us.
“Driving at the same pace as Volkswagens, Mazdas and Toyotas completely invalidates my motorvehicular purchase decision.”
Simon, 43, from Kettering, added, “Last night I was overtaken by several emergency vehicles on their way to a massive pileup which I didn’t cause, which is against the natural order of things for all sorts of reasons.”
However, experts say not everything has changed, with BMW drivers still belting along like there’s no tomorrow and driving like that there probably won’t be.
“Look, mate,” BMW driver William Simons told us.
“Short of the earth being struck by a huge asteroid nothing is going to stop me doing forty past my local school.”