Labour-supporting activists have been left asking what went wrong this morning after the party they support scored significant wins in both of yesterday’s by-elections.
The by-elections had been marked by predictions that Kier Starmer had left the party unelectable with his centrist right-wing pandering, and his inevitable defeat in the midlands constituencies would usher in an opportunity for someone properly left-wing who wants to nationalise cheese and eliminate the Kulak class to take the leadership because that’s what the British people actually really want.
Supporters had insisted that the forthcoming awful by-election performance for Labour would lead to a leadership challenge, and a new leader who would take the party in a proper direction that agrees with them – but they are now ‘completely delighted at the win, yeah’ that this has not happened.
Twitter activist Simon Williams told us, “I said before the by-elections that what Labour really needed to win was someone who has a proven track record of agreeing with me all the time.
“Someone who is a proper socialist, not a centrist Dad, someone who really, really hates Zionism, but who is simultaneously utterly cool with Jews and has lots of Jewish friends.
“Because that’s absolutely top of the list of issues that matter to people in Tamworth.
“And although I may have bitten clean through my pen when I heard we’d won by miles I am… obviously… delighted… to …say…I…was…wro…
“Damn, no, I can’t do it.”