Rishi Sunak is visiting Israel to meet with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as that seems like the sort of thing a proper Prime Minister would do.
“Rishi wasn’t sure how to handle this whole situation,” explained a Number 10 representative.
“His first thought was to blame immigrants crossing the channel in small boats, then he thought about bringing forward his weird smoking ban, but nothing seemed appropriate to the scale of the crisis unfolding.
“Ultimately, we decided to approach the whole thing by trying to work out what a proper Prime Minister would do, someone who’d been chosen to lead the country in a general election and had some reasonable political acumen, and wasn’t just a complete chancer who’d just been sitting in the right place when Liz Truss crashed the economy.”
Happily, one of the SPADs in Number 10 was friends with Nick Timothy.
“We gave him a call and asked what Theresa May would do and he said she’d go to Israel and meet with the Prime Minister there, offer condolences, that sort of thing.
“Obviously, Rishi wasn’t keen at first. There’s a new episode of Loki coming out on Friday morning and he doesn’t like to miss that, but when we told him it might help make him look like a proper Prime Minister, he got on board.”
Mr Sunak has flown out to Israel this morning; it is unknown when he’ll have a chance to catch up with Loki.