Rishi Sunak uses Israel visit to give speech on best non-violent ways to destroy a hospital

author avatar by 2 months ago

Rishi Sunak has told reporters during his visit to Israel that if you want to destroy a hospital, it’s much cheaper to do it through years of chronic underfunding than with expensive rockets and bombs.

Sunak’s hastily arranged visit to Israel happened only because he saw Joe Biden going there on the television, and as such it was not as well planned as previous trips. This lack of planning ensured Sunak was allowed to speak freely when asked by reporters about the bombing of the Al-Ahli hospital in Gaza.

Refusing to be drawn on who was directly responsible for the missile, Sunak instead chose to highlight the many non-violent options available to both sides when you’re trying to destroy a hospital.

The prime minister told those gathered, “Firstly, have you seen the cost of missiles these days? Tens of thousands of dollars, at a minimum. And that’s assuming you’ll hit and destroy your intended target first go.

“No, it’s much more efficient, and cost effective, to simply find ways of giving less and less money to the hospital concerned until it collapses all of it’s own accord. Then you don’t need to blame it on the people with whom you’re at war, you can instead blame the collapse on ‘inefficient bureaucrats’ and have your friendly newspapers spread that message for you.

“If that’s taking a while, you can also try the proven tactic of stopping all pay rises to the people who work at the hospital, especially in times of high inflation. This will put untold pressure on then and soon they will go on strike causing yet further damage to the hospital itself.

“If you do it right, and really put your mind to it, you can have a previously thriving health service on its knees in a little over a decade.”

Sunak is now heading to Saudi Arabia, where he will give a speech explaining that instead of chopping up journalists you don’t like, it’s much easier to declare them as ‘woke’ and let the useful idiots on social media take care of them for you.

Twatspotting #3 Rishi – the full collection can be seen here!