Hopes are rapidly fading that a man who chooses to communicate online solely through the use of other people’s memes may ever have an original thought of his own.
Clarke Matthews, a ‘really successful businessman’ who spends more time than is healthy in the comment threads of social media pages he claims to dislike, has had trouble articulating his positions without memes, gifs and emojis for several years now.
Simon Williams, a social media user who often stumbles across Clarke’s posts, told us, “There is sometimes a word or two in there, but 99% of the time he’s just posting a meme in a discussion he hasn’t understood, articulating a sentiment he didn’t intend, about an issue that doesn’t affect him.
“If you question him, or ask him to clarify his point, you normally get back a gif of a fisherman, or if he’s particularly short of time, just the emoji of a fish on a hook.
“For some reason, he seems to think this approach makes him the ‘winner’, as if online discussion is some sort of sporting contest, rather than just a free exchange of ideas.
“But of course, a free exchange of ideas means you have to have one of your own to share in the first place, and this is where Clarke falls down, unfortunately.
“Perhaps one day he will have an original thought of his own, and he’ll surprise us all by sharing it. But until then, we shall just continue to enjoy his cry-laugh emojis.
“If ever we find ourselves think it’s tough having to wade through all of his witless memes, we simply imagine the horror of having to engage him in conversation across a table at dinner time. His poor family, they have our sympathies.”